Wishful dreams of willful negligence!

 There is no way anyone wouldn’t love to cuddle with or the warmth of those little plushies like teddy bears and stuff.

I was walking around the Canning st. when a huge Panda plushy, almost of my height, caught my attention!
For an odd moment to only realize in that odd time, that I never had one! Not even in childhood, not in teenage, not in my early youth.
That random thought suddenly felt quite important not experiencing the warmth of a plushy!
I remember having seen it often in shops and homes, I have wished at glances but somehow I was so occupied to "manage" life, that never occurred to me to buy one.

: What happened!
: I just realized I never had a plushy in my entire life.
: You can have one now!

I got my first plushy in my last days of my twenties, in addition to it as a gift!
And then after returning to Bangladesh, the Panda became my imaginary friend.
Regardless of my age, I loved this tickling, smooth, sweet feeling.

Also on one of those usual days, I realized I have never fallen in love.
This realization heats harder of course.
I mean heaven forgive me, I spent all my spring of my teens and twenties without ever falling in love! It stuck it as a sharp, heavy blow like-
"Heavens! How I wish to madly fall in love, does not matter whether I am loved back!"

Then it started pouring into my mind from an unknown source as if waiting for all this time as patient as predator.
The list of "should-have-had but never-had" started to pile up one by one.
Full of melodramatic ingredients... I thought I should write a book called "The last days of my twenties".
I wonder what have I even did on those past days to forget even the very usual, small memories to make!

Of Course, as always reality does not comply.
As it never did.
Yet, I keep prolonging the list
Still longing for those to fit
Living my days of teens
At my last days of twenties!

woah! Would you look at that! It rather became a rhyme!
Even though it's just a wishful dream caused by willful negligence, I still have some days left to lose all hope!